The fine art of falling in love
by assassi
Summary: THIRD SEQUEL for "To live again". "I kind of knew it was gonna be one-sided. I expected it. And accepted it. At some point I guess I just learned to live with that acceptance and the hollow, empty feeling in my chest." Romance/Hurt/Comfort/YAOI. Eventual Luca/Hajime, also mentioned Kotetsu/Izumo and Sakura/Ino.
1. Prelude

**A.N. **Hello again :) This is the third sequel for "To live again" (following "A new beginning"). Thank you for reviewing so far and I hope you'll do it again now :) Also, thank you for waiting for this story and enjoy!

**Prelude**

**Luca's POV**

I fell in love with him from the moment I saw him.

Yeah, spare me the condescendining look. It wasn't the hot, burning, lusting kind of love. He was five years old, for Kami's sake, and so was I. It was the kind of love that it's said only small children can feel – pure; real…

He was upset on that first day in the kindergarten; saw nothing of our games, heard nothing of the songs, remembered nothing of the lessons. He only had eyes for where he thought the parking lot was; only waited and hoped that his fathers will come get him sooner…

Later, as he cried when they held him, as he snuggled into Izumo's embrace and held onto Kotetsu's hand, he lifted his head for a bit and for just a moment, over Izumo's shoulder, our eyes met. And just like that… like an arrow through my heart, like a lightning through my whole body... doomed forever by those crying multicolored eyes… My five year old self fell in love for the first and only time.

As we grew older the lust was only added to that first, pure feeling. Without replacing it though. Only… amplifying it…

I kind of knew it was gonna be one-sided. I expected it. And accepted it. Now, don't take me as a martyr, for I'm very far from it. At some point I guess I just learned to live with that acceptance, that the hollow, empty feeling in my chest will remain just that – hollow and empty, twitching with the false hope that maybe… cuz he's right there next to me, you know…?

No.

Just no.

"Ouch!"

"Huh?"

Hiro frowned at me, rubbing his chest.

"Slow it down, will ya? I ain't the enemy, whoever that may be!"

I took off the boxing gloves and ran a hand through my damp hair.

"Sorry", I muttered, unwrapping the gauze.

"You need a better way to vent, Luca. This doesn't help you any longer."

"I said sorry, okay?!"

"…Dude. Chill."

"Whatever…", I sighed.

"Why didn't you apply for the cop's academy?", Hiro wasn't going to give it up that easily.

"I was asked not to. By a… friend."

His father. Both of his fathers. And I wasn't exactly asked not to. I was forbidden to.

"_I don't wanna worry about you every day, kid. I've had my fair share of worrying for a lifetime, being married to a cop…"_

"…_And I, being married to a ninja…"_

"Keiko's throwing a party at Saturday. You in?", Hiro asked.

I shook my head. "Nah. I gotta finish something."

"That portrait you don't wanna show me?"

"Yes."

I tried to say it in a way for him to realize that the subject is closed. Hiro grinned and lifted his hands in surrender.

"I ain't the enemy, man", he repeated. "You need to finally fight down those demons in your head."

_Oh, you mean the blonde one with the multicolored eyes?_

"Sure", I gritted out, heading for the showers.

Just another day. Accepting things as they were.


	2. Chapter 1 – Ignoring Luca's weird jokes

**Chapter 1 – Ignoring Luca's weird jokes**

**Hajime's POV**

The soft clinking of pots and the shushed buzz from the TV filled the otherwise quiet place. The kitchen smelled of eggs and bacon and coffee. It smelled like home.

Izumo turned around when I entered the room and smiled at me.

"Hey. You spent the night here?"

'Here' was the house where my dads and siblings lived. They still owned their old apartment though and had given it to me when I was finally (and very reluctantly) deemed old enough to live by myself.

Either way, both of them, and especially Izumo, were ridiculously happy when I chose to spend the night at the house with the whole family. In fact I was damn sure Izumo would be thrilled if I suddenly decided to move back with them.

"Give it up, Dad…", I sighed.

He chuckled. "Never ask me to do that when it comes to my kids", he winked.

I hid a smirk at my coffee just as a plate of eggs and bacon was placed in front of me.

"Got any early lectures?", he asked.

The Konoha's Arts University was actually his idea – he had been the one to encourage me to follow my dreams and turn my hobby into something more. Photography was also an interest we both shared, since he'd followed my every step through childhood and adolescence with a camera in his hand, taking thousands of photos. There were probably around 100 albums of me, my other Dad and my siblings, their friends and colleagues.

"Yeah, Luca's gonna pick me up from here."

"Mhm…", Izumo automatically set to prepare more coffee and some light breakfast.

"Dad, I gotta be at school in 30 minutes", Akira announced, stepping into the kitchen.

There was one word that could describe my brother – perfection. I knew that from the moment our fathers first introduced us, long before they brought him home, to live with us. He was just a toddler back then.

All those years later, he hadn't grown any less adorable.

"Aniki. You're doing it again", he said, voice serious and a bit annoyed.

"Huh? Doing what?", I blinked, confused.

"Staring at me. Stop it."

"But…"

"Onii-san…"

"What did I do to deserve being called in such a formal way!?"

"… you will never find yourself a partner in life if you don't grow out of your brother complex and simply start acting like a normal adult instead of fussing around me… and Lulu…"

"Kira-cha…"

"AND I TOLD YOU TO STOP CALLING ME THAT!"

"…"

"I'm not a baby anymore. Do stop treating me like that."

"… so cute… and so cold…"

Akira shook his head while Izumo laughed, serving Luca's coffee right when the door banged open with Luca's patented barging technique.

"Morning, people!", he boomed.

"Exactly. It is morning. Can you keep it down, please? As in, are you even able to?", I snapped.

"Tsk. So cute. And so cold", Luca mused, not understanding why Izumo and Akira burst laughing.

* * *

><p>I've known Luca since we were both five years old. And it's always been easy, being around him; despite our never-ending bickering. He also has the disturbing tendency to make weird jokes about being attracted to me in an intimate and sexual way. Anyways, I've learnt to just ignore those.<p>

That aside, Luca is amazingly easy to live with and be with. He can talk, filling the silence in that nice way that doesn't make my head hurt the way it has with some of my girlfriends. Or he can be quiet when he feels I need some silence to sort my mind out and that silence isn't awkward the way it sometimes has been with some of my dates. He's actually pretty sociable, and clever, and can find something to talk about with pretty much anyone. That and his good looks make him a pretty popular guy. Why he chooses to keep hanging out with me (unsociable, moody and mostly a loner) is beyond me.

He drives like crazy though. Meaning – fast. He's actually careful, but the sheer speed he usually applies makes his mothers very sorry that they let my dads teach their son how to drive. Imagine a sports car (one Luca bought with his own money, second-hand, and renovated with the help of Kiba, a family friend) literally flying through Konoha's streets, with AC/DC's _Highway to hell_ blaring as loud as it possibly can. Yep. That is how we usually go to school.

Ah, yes, we go to the same university. Only I major in photography and Luca – in fine arts and graphic design. Yeah, both. He's a very good artist. My dads have even put some of his works on the walls at home.

I don't know if it's a part of being an artistic person, but Luca smokes too much. I can bet that started as a means to look more badass but now he is really addicted to the nicotine.

All that badass-image is put entirely aside once Luca is around his sister or my siblings. I swear to Kami, he's the poster guy for the perfect older brother. He never smokes around the kids, never swears, never even (really) shouts. He can even endure his sister using her make-up on his face or Lulu pulling his long black hair and never, ever complain. You should hear and see him when his sister calls him. He looks at his phone (even though he knows who's calling since she has a personalized ringtone), smiles and answers with a simple "What's up, kiddo?", all the while his whole face glowing.

Luckily, said sister, Karen, is a very sweet child and (miraculously) not some spoiled princess.

"Where have you spaced out?", Luca asked, snapping me out of my thoughts as he pulled over at the parking lot.

"Hmm?", I answered eloquently.

"New girlfriend?", he teased.

"Nah. Got tired of them. Girls just don't interest me at the moment."

"Ah, well, you can always try the other side", he winked.

I just sighed, ignoring his strange joke as I always did.


	3. Chapter 2 - Suspicions

**A.N.** First, I'd like to thank EVERYONE who reviewed - I always appreciate it! :) I hope you enjoy the new chapter as well :)

Chapter 2 – Suspicions

**Hajime POV**

Luca dunked the ball for, like, 10th time.

I sighed again, irritated. Come the fuck on – the guy is a very good artist and is also said to be a damn good graphic designer, is pretty sociable, has his good looks _and_ is good at sports! HOW!?

I, on the other hand, am very bad at sports. Akira is the sportsman amongst us, kids (but as we have already established, he is perfect in everything, of course) and of course both our fathers are quite fit and love sport in general.

Well. I'm adopted anyway, so here's my excuse.

I know what you're gonna say: so is Akira. Fuck you and shut up.

Luca's teammates congratulated him, patting him on his back and cheering up. He grinned, said something witty in return and came closer to me.

"Man, I'm starved! Come on, my treat", he offered.

"You stink", was my response.

He scrunched up his nose.

"Ugh. Shower and then some takeout?" , he suggested, already walking towards the changing room.

"What is the point of a good practice if you're gonna stuff your body with junk food afterwards?", I grumbled, following him anyway.

Luca laughed carelessly, already undressing.

Since we grew up together (and since we're both dudes) it has never been a problem, never been weird, undressing in front of the other. Actually I've never even really looked at him closely.

Now I did.

He was all black and blue, like he'd been repeatedly hit, mostly in the ribs, his back, his arms. For the first time ever I stopped and wondered… was he going out with someone abusive? Was it even a she, or a he? We live in Konoha, both possibilities are considered pretty normal. How fucked up was this, that he was my best friend and I couldn't even say for sure if he was straight, bi or gay? I couldn't say if he was dating anyone right now, guy or girl. He had mentioned some of his dates, in general, but… with whom? And most importantly - was his current lover doing this to him?

"Luca…", I started hesitantly.

He turned around, saw where I was looking at and his smile faded. He turned back, rummaging in his locker.

"It's nothing, Hajime."

"But… a-are you going out with some… some guy who…"

He laughed. Bitterly.

But when he turned around his smile was as perfect as ever.

"It's nothing. Really. Just the consequences of… another kind of practice."

"But…"

"You should have seen the other dude. Man, I have a mean right hook!", he shook his head, laughing, pointedly hurrying to close the glass door of the shower cabin. And shut me out.

I wasn't gonna let him get away.

* * *

><p><strong>Kotetsu POV<strong>

I knew Luca was in love with Hajime from the first time my son mentioned that kid from the kindergarten. Izumo still doesn't believe me and thinks I overreact and imagine things.

But I know and see things he doesn't.

Well, everyone noticed when Luca stopped being the arrogant, aloof kid he used to be and began working on being a boy with whom someone can fall in love. Someone like Hajime…

But I also noticed when Luca's friendly adoration turned into real, grown-up love. And lust. I see the way he looks at Hajime. And, understand me correctly, he doesn't look at him simply like a sexual object. He looks at him with such longing… For something more. Something real.

Luca would never take anything less than love – real love that comes with all the rights and responsibilities, all the shared moments, all the difficulties, every small battle. When I realized that, I finally accepted that that little punk (who was not that little punk anymore, but a fine young man) was in fact someone worthy of my child.

My so very frustratingly oblivious child, who saw nothing of that.

And then I noticed when the bitterness started slowly growing in Luca's soul. I noticed when it became harder for him to maintain the wide smile, taking much more effort.

But he never snapped. Never asked for more. Always making himself content with what he had, even if it was just friendship when he was starved for love. Hajime's love, since he only had eyes for him. No one else.

When he came to me asking me to recommend a place for him to train some kind of martial arts… I knew that look, that hollow voice. And it hurt to see him like that.

I couldn't be his sensei, since I'd never be able to actually attack him, and potentially hurt him; the kid was like one of my own. The only one I trusted was Ares. He wasn't gonna hold back, but still he'd never fatally hurt Luca.

And Luca needed those practices, like I'd needed them all those years ago.

He looked calmer the next time I saw him… quicker in faking his smile.

Damn. I really hoped Hajime will finally open his eyes. And soon.


	4. Chapter 3 - Changed

A.N. Hello and sorry for the long wait. I hope you enjoy (and review) this chapter too :)

**Chapter 3 - Changed**

**Luca POV**

"I've always liked this car. Always wanted something like that for myself. But… you know…Ex-ANBU parents. 'No way you're getting yourself something that fast!'"

Keita rolled his eyes and I smiled with understanding.

As we were growing up, it became pretty obvious that Hajime is straight. And so was Keita. So, no point in stupid childish jealousy. Keita was safe.

At some point over the years we had actually become quite close friends. Once we got to know each other better Keita had turned out to be a cool guy. With one major fault though…

"So… how are things with Hajime?"

He was very perceptive. Unlike someone else.

I shrugged. "Well, he's still straight, imagine that."

Keita snorted and I smirked, trying to cover the bitterness.

"He saw the bruises yesterday", I added.

There was an awkward pause.

"You gotta tell him, Luca…", Keita started, yet again.

"What about? That I'm head over heels in love with him, that I engage myself in pretty much anything with the only hope to distract myself from thinking about him, or to exhaust myself into oblivion?"

"Yeah. That."

I shook my head. "There's no point. I've gotten used to it. I'm alright. Everything's just… fine."

"…Sure…"

The school bell rang, making me smile at the stupid situation. "Saved by the bell." I knew Keita was genuinely worried about me, as much as I didn't want to worry him. I guess that was just how friendship worked.

The kids came running out and every other thought was quickly forgotten as Karen and Mei came into view.

That was something else we had in common. We both had amazing younger sisters.

"Nii-chan!", Mei hung on Keita's neck with all of her (thankfully tiny) weight. He just laughed and spun her around.

Keita's Mom, Anko, had gotten pregnant awhile after they had adopted Keita. It had been a small miracle, since she'd had problems getting pregnant before. I vaguely remember young Keita being worried that they wouldn't want him anymore, now that they were going to have their own child. Anko and Gai had sat down and talked to him, assuring him that was not the case at all (I know all that because they're not just my Dad's colleagues, but also family friends; as in, my dads were even called at the hospital when Anko was giving birth, and later they became Mei's Godparents).

As a result of that talk, when Mei was born she had two older brothers – Keita and his older brother Lee (his Dad's biological son) – who were already wrapped around her little finger. Well, in Lee's case, he already had some experience with younger siblings, being already very close with Keita.

Karen and I… we're just different. Not that…expressive. We just don't need puppy eyes and baby-talk to know how much we mean to each other.

She looked up at me and smiled – a simple happy smile.

"Hey, Luca."

"Hey, kiddo. Did you have a good day?"

"Yep."

"Yes", I corrected.

"But you say 'yep'."

"_Not in front of you!"_

"'_Yes'_ is the right way to respond", I insisted.

She humph-ed and I ruffled her hair making her squeak indignantly as I laughed.

* * *

><p><strong>Izumo POV<strong>

"There you are. Good as new."

Lulu blinked, her crystal clear blue eyes filled with wonder. Her red curls were currently flattened from her bath and her pale skin seemed to somehow give a faint glow.

"Daddy's little fairy", I grinned, making her giggle as I wrapped her in her towel.

"Dad?", Akira's voice called.

"In the bathroom", I called back.

"Are you decent?", he asked, right in front of the door now.

"Yeah, just giving your sister a bath."

Akira poked his head, examining the scene. Lulu squealed excitedly when she saw him and he smiled one of his rare smiles.

They had all changed so much. Luca used to smile rarely as a child as well, while he was all wide smiles and confident grins now. Or at least that's what we all saw – a very social, very popular and friendly person.

But while Luca's whole younger self had been somehow cold and distant, Akira was just… fed up with us all? He also used to be cuter and more talkative as a small child, but now he was just a normal teenager. He smiled when he felt like it, was bored and didn't hide it most of the time, or was too concentrated in the things that actually interested him to mimic fake enthusiasm.

He would be very much alike Hajime… if Hajime didn't freak out around him.

Hajime used to be a very sweet child – open and easy to smile and laugh. Puberty had changed him into the somewhat distant and aloof person Luca used to be (except when he was with his younger siblings). I tried to tell myself that this was normal for an artistic person, that Hajime was just too concentrated in photography, but maybe that was just the way he was and it had nothing to do with what he'd chosen to do.

"Would you change this much as well?", I wondered out loud, staring thoughtfully at Lulu, who was chewing on her foot with a comically serious face.

"Um, Dad? You're spacing out again and being, like, generally weird as usual."

I burst out laughing, ruffling Akira's hair and making Lulu giggle some more.

* * *

><p><strong>Luca POV<strong>

"Aro! Come back here!"

I grinned at the usual sight of Hajime running after the huge furball. There was simply no way of teaching that dog any manners – even Tsume, Kotetsu's friend and top dog-breeder, had failed.

Aro was Jash's son. Jash, Kotetsu's first dog had passed away a few years ago. I remember how devastated Hajime was – Jash had been there when Kotetsu and Izumo had first brought Hajime at his hew home and had allowed the little boy to literally fall asleep on top of him countless of times. I knew Jash had been one of Hajime's best friends. So when he'd come to my doorstep, looking lost, sniffling and with puffy eyes, muttering something about Jash, I just knew.

It's the only night he spent snuggled in my arms, falling asleep in my embrace. I just wished the circumstances were different.

"So. When are you going to show me?"

Hajime, having eventually given up on Aro, stood before me, still panting from chasing the little beast. I smirked, unable to stop myself,

"Hm? Show you a good time?"

He scowled. He always did when I allowed myself a teasing little remark like that.

"Show me what you're working on, dumbass. Keita mentioned…"

"Keita better watch his mouth", I growled under my nose.

Hajime stared at me as if trying to read my mind.

"What's going on with you? You've never hid something from me."

"Haven't I…?", I lit a cigarette, ignoring the way he kept staring at me. I kept walking until he grabbed my arm, making me turn back to look at him.

"What are you drawing?", he demanded.

"_You."_

It was on the tip of my tongue. But I said nothing.

Like with Aro before, Hajime eventually gave up and let go of my arm.

We resumed our walk in silence.


	5. Chapter 4 - Unbearable

**A.N.** Happy New Year, guys! For the few who still take a second to review - THNAK YOU! For the rest... uh, I can't be sure you even read this story anymore but oh, well - enjoy, everyone! Also there's a small surprise - turns out Luca's whole name is not Luca :D

**Chapter 4 – Unbearable**

**Luca POV**

"…And who the hell even decided we should study higher mathematics!? WHY!? Do I need higher mathematics to be a better photographer!?"

"… to calculate the right angle, maybe?"

"You shut up, Lucas!"

"…I hate it when you use my full name."

"It's a cool name…"

"Thanks, Keita. But still. Don't use it."

"HIGHER MATHEMATICS!"

"Okay, fine, geez! We got it already, Hajime, you hysterical psycho!"

"…I can help you."

"Come again?"

"_Gladly. I only did so last night, to a dream about you, but I could always come again when you are involved."_

"I said I could help you with math", I said out loud.

His whole face lit up. He smiled in a way that could make me do anything – from fucking learning higher math, to ripping my heart out to serve it on a silver plate for him.

"Thanks, Luca", he said sweetly.

I gulped dryly, nodding nonchalantly.

"Sure."

Keita's pitying look wasn't lost on me.

* * *

><p>Hajime really was pants at math. At even the most basic one, never mind the higher mathematics.<p>

"I don't get it", he declared.

"Well, try harder. It's an important grade for your certificate."

Hajime's determined look was almost as cute as his smiling one… or the pouting one… or the "don't-talk-to-me-I-haven't-had-my-first-coffee-yet" one…

He leant closer, all but draping himself on me.

"But it doesn't make any sense! How am I supposed to get it?! How do you get it!?"

His exasperated exclamations could have been whispers in my ear. His breath on my neck, his skin on my skin where our arms touched, the way he felt free enough to even be that close to me…

"Luca?"

I shook my head to clear the fog.

"Hm?"

"You okay, man?"

I coughed slightly.

"Yeah. Yeah, sure. Now, see here, that goes like this…"

An hour later Hajime decided the lesson had been really helpful and we absolutely had to schedule a regular night for such math lessons from now on.

As I walked out of his place, I heaved a sigh. Regular lessons. At least one night a week with Hajime draped all over me as he bent over the books.

I was doomed.

* * *

><p>"Scuba diving?", Hajime looked incredulous.<p>

"Yeah! Right this weekend", I grinned.

"Weren't you gonna run then?"

"Saturday morning."

"And the basketball?"

"Sunday night."

He whistled. "How do you even find the energy for all that?", he mused.

"I wonder that too", Keita murmured. Our eyes met for a moment, but I quickly looked away.

Hajime sighed again, rolling his eyes.

"Whatever. Gotta go, see ya guys later!"

The sound of his chair scraping the floor was still echoing in my ears when Keita's quiet voice reached me.

"Another hobby?"

"It's… just something else to occupy my time…"

"To distract you."

"…It's unbearable otherwise."

"What is?"

"Everything. His smile. The way he scowls. The ways he drawls out the "a"-s. His eyes. Did you know his eyes have 7 different hues? Green, blue, golden, brown, violet, black and even a few red spots."

"…Damn, man."

"…Yeah."

Keita patted my shoulder with sympathy, shaking his head and saying the magic words every good friend said at some point:

"Drinks are on me."


	6. Chapter 5 - Thunderstruck

**A.N.** To Ella459, currently my biggest fan (hope she still loves after this chapter)

**Chapter 5 – Thunderstruck**

**Luca POV**

So it might have been too much. A touch too much*.

Yes, the scuba-diving, running, basketball, martial arts and so on did finally become too much, even for me. Karen always says that I lack the alarms in my head that are supposed to go off when I push too much, too fast, too soon. No matter if it's taking the whole night to paint, or finishing a design project, or spending too much time training; I'm always overdoing it. Hence, the feeling like a zombie the next day. What Karen probably doesn't understand is _why_ I do it.

"You look like shit."

I hid a smirk in my coffee cup. That was Kotetsu's way of saying _"You look tired and I'm worried about you." _Worried. My smile faded and I couldn't meet his eyes.

He knew. He always knew.

"I'm fine. Just… trying new things. Broadening my perspective", I muttered.

He sighed. He'd never been much of a talker and he hated talking about feelings, but now I felt he was about to say something on the matter. Which only served to show me how much he actually worried.

They've always been like a second family to me. As amazing as my mothers are, Kotetsu and Izumo have always been the father figures every boy needs while growing up.

I didn't want to worry him. And I definitely didn't want to have the talk of how hopelessly in love I am with his own son.

Time to distract him. Quickly.

"I wanted to ask you something actually", I said. "You're practically the only one I can ask and expect you to not be totally weirded out."

"Okaaay", he drawled, his brow furrowing. "Doesn't sound good so far."

"It's nothing that creepy", I chuckled, "I just wanted to ask you if I can attend some of your training sessions with the cops-wanna-be-s and do some sketching. I mostly need to catch on the movements."

"Oh, sure. No problem. What else?"

"Hm?", I asked, confused.

"You said you _mostly_ needed that. What else?"

He's always been able to catch on the little things, read between the lines, see underneath the underneath.

"Well… the ways a hakama or a shitagi moves when you swing a katana…"

"Are you interested in iaido?", he smiled.

"I might be", I admitted.

"There's a civilian class at the Academy. The sensei is a very nice guy and an excellent teacher. Do you want me to introduce you?"

"Yeah", I smiled, more naturally now. "Yeah, that'd be great!"

"Cool", he nodded. "As for attending my classes, sure you can."

"Thanks, Kotetsu-sa…"

"Kotetsu!", he growled again.

I grinned cheekily. "Yes, sir!"

He growled again, shaking his head as he turned his back on me to start doing the dishes. I quietly slipped off the stool and began walking towards the door.

"Luca."

I closed my eyes, holding my breath and cursing quietly. How could I ever hope to escape from an ex-ANBU?!

"Yeah?"

"Just because I let it slip this time doesn't mean I don't have my eyes on you. If you keep that up we will have that conversation, no matter how uncomfortable it might be."

Closing my eyes again, I grit my teeth.

"Yes, sir."

* * *

><p>"Come oooon, Luca! You need to go out once in awhile! You're 19, for Kami's sake, and yet you act like some middle-aged dude!", Keita's rant was giving me a headache.<p>

"But I'm tired…"

I tried to sound reasonable but if I had to be sincere it was closer to a whine. And if I had to be completely honest I wasn't just tired. I was also pretty beaten up, seeing as today had been my usual training with Ares.

Keita didn't know that. In fact I'm not very sure he'd have given a damn even if he knew. It's just that when he decided something, he absolutely followed through his plan, no matter what. Stubborn little fucker…

"Hajime might be there too…"

I had my back turned to him at this moment; but I'm pretty sure he already knew what my reaction would be.

"That was a low blow, Kei."

He sighed.

"Look, just… At least once, do something _normal people_ do to distract themselves. Instead of exhausting yourself into dreamless oblivion, just fucking go out! Have some fun!"

"Like a normal person", I teased, half-smiling.

"Like a normal fucking person!", he nodded, victorious.

I sighed deeply. The things I put up with for my friends…

"Lemme put on something nicer…"

* * *

><p>The club was full to the brim and the party was in full swing. It was one of the new places in town, having quickly become famous with its close to no inhibitions. Meaning, teens were dancing half-naked and it looked more like they were copulating than anything else. Sure, Konoha was a free and liberal place and it was equally normal to see a boy and girl kissing, or two boys or two girls doing the same. But even here one would feel a bit uncomfortable if the kissing was more like… making out. Freely. Hell, I felt uncomfortable, and I'm far from a prude.<p>

Keita had drifted away and left me alone only minutes after we had entered the club, vanishing in the crowd and leaving me to my own devices. Feeling lost, I looked around.

My eyes landed on a couple of dudes, making out in a corner. One of them, looking tougher than the other, all muscles and strength, was sitting on a leather chair by a small table, covered with empty shot glasses. The other guy, who had his back turned to me, looked smaller and far more slender; he was sitting on the first guy's lap, kissing his partner enthusiastically and shamelessly grinding their groins. Both of them were naked above the waist and it looked like they were about to lose their jeans too, any second now.

Hot as the scene was, I felt uneasy watching them; embarrassed somehow. I quickly looked away, making my way towards the bar to get myself some much needed alcohol.

"Can I buy you a drink?", someone asked.

I turned around and tried to smile to the guy who had offered. He was a blonde. Handsome and with a charming smile that actually reached his eyes. Eyes that were not multicolored, but deep and dark…

"I, eer…"

I turned around again, looking for Keita.

The slender guy, straddling the tough dude, threw his head back and moaned.

My eyes widened.

It was Hajime.

The slender guy, rutting shamelessly in another guy's lap was the man I was in love with. My so _very straight _best friend…

And he looked like he was enjoying himself. Inebriated, but not enough to not know what he was doing. I've seen him actually drunk and I could clearly tell that he was only slightly tipsy right now… perfectly aware what he was doing and enjoying every minute of it…

I cannot really explain what was happening in my heart and my soul and my mind right there. Just like all those years ago when I had fallen in love with him at first sight, I felt stunned now. Thunderstruck. After the initial shock came the sharp pain, sharper than anything I had ever felt before. So fucking sharp that I thought I would die. Maybe I did. Part of me certainly did, right then and there.

"Yeah…", I choked out. "I could use a drink."

The blonde next to me was only happy to provide said drink. I drained it in one gulp. The pain became a dull ache, much more bearable. I could just continue drinking into oblivion.

Or I could just get the hell outta this club.

I turned towards the blonde.

"Take me somewhere", I just said.

He smiled, paid the bill and took my hand, leading me away from the worst thing I had ever seen.

**A/N** *- _Touch too much_ and _Thunderstruck_ are songs by AC/DC.


	7. Chapter 6 - Wherever I may roam

**A.N.** And, like I promised, this chapter is dedicated to **ZepphyraSnowStorm** for the sweet reviews and the continued support :)

**Chapter 6 – Wherever I may roam***

**Luca POV**

I opened my eyes slowly, blinking a few times and just staring at the dull white ceiling. This wasn't my place; wasn't my bed. The body next to me moved. This wasn't the man I wanted.

The pain returned and I felt sick. It wasn't because of the alcohol – in the end I had barely drunk anything last night. It wasn't because the sex with a stranger – I'd had one-offs before and I dare say I was smart enough to use protection every time and even so get myself tested at least once a year. The sex itself wasn't so bad either. It was what led to it that made me feel sick.

It hadn't helped me forgetting what I saw last night. It hadn't lessened the pain. I was broken and nothing I was able to do could fix me. It was time to face the facts. It wasn't that I didn't have a chance with Hajime because he was straight – he was obviously okay with blokes as well as girls. It was just that he didn't want _me_.

The blonde next to me moved again, about to wake up.

Time to hit the road then. Get away. And not just from this unknown apartment, but Konoha as well. But before I left, there were a few things I had to do.

* * *

><p>"How long?"<p>

I sighed, rubbing my forehead.

"I don't know for how long, Mom. I just have to get away for a while."

"Is that what you want me to tell your mother?", Sakura asked, her voice sharp.

I winced, closing my eyes. Ino had always been the more emotional and delicate between the two. Sakura was the tough parent; no matter what it cost her she put up a strong front, hiding how actually worried about her kids she was. Ino… Ino was more prone to fussing around us, openly worrying and nagging and when she couldn't hold it – openly crying. That's what I feared the most. And Sakura knew that. It was a mean thing to play this card on me, but it only showed how desperate she was to keep me here, nearby.

"I promise to call…", I offered weakly.

"And can you promise me to stay out of trouble?"

Well, if I had to be honest… "No."

"Luca… just…"

"Bye, Mom, I'll call you soon", I hurried to put an end to the conversation before she had resorted to actually asking me to stay. I sighed deeply and my fingers shook a little as I called one more person.

"Hey, kiddo…"

* * *

><p><strong>Hajime POV<strong>

"_Take a taxi. I won't be around for a while."_

I frowned at Luca's brisk message, somewhat annoyed that I had to catch a taxi to get to school, somewhat curious and somewhat worried what had happened to him.

Asking Keita didn't provide more answers.

"Dunno, man. He just said that he had to get away for a while."

"Any idea why?"

"Nope, none. We went clubbing last night and this morning I got that message. Someone mentioned he looked upset when he left last night…"

"Huh", I frowned. "You said you went clubbing?"

"Yeah. In "The Pole."

"Yeah? Strange that we didn't see each other, I was there too…"

Keita was suddenly on edge; he tried to sound nonchalant about it but he was certainly on edge when he asked,

"Really? Did anything interesting happen?"

"Nah, just some fooling around", I waved it off.

"With?", he insisted.

"Some bloke? I don't know, someone. What's the matter with you?"

He cursed quietly, left some money for the bill and ran out of the café.

"What the fuck…?", I muttered.

I pulled out my cell phone and dialed Luca.

"_The number you have dialed cannot be reached right now…"_

I groaned and ended the call. Something was definitely up.

* * *

><p><strong>Izumo POV<strong>

"Yeah… yeah, I will. Look, I'm sorry, Sakura… For… for everything. I'll do everything I can. Yeah. See you…"

Kotetsu's back and shoulders were tense as he hung up. He must have sensed me behind him because he said quietly,

"Luca's gone."

"What do you mean, gone?", I frowned. "He ran off…?"

"No, he called Sakura and Karen first, told them he had to leave for a while."

The silence was even tenser than his shoulders.

"It's time you face it as well, Zu. He's in love with our son. And now he's heartbroken and he's walking the same path I did 17 years ago."

"Here you go again…", I sighed.

"Sources say he was last seen in a club where our very same, very idiotic, supposedly heterosexual son was making out with another guy." He turned around, looking pained. "We know the boy since he was in his nappies. We saw him growing up, never leaving our son's side. How much more evidence do you need?"

"Being his best frie-…"

"Damn it, Izumo!"

I felt my shoulders sagging, finally admitting defeat. I sighed.

"So it's real."

"Very."

"And now he walks the same path you did. All those years ago…"

"Yes. But Ares and his training doesn't seem to be enough for Luca."

"Ares can be brutal."

"And if he isn't enough…"

The look we shared said everything.

"I'm calling all friends…", he began.

"You can't re-activate an ex-ANBU unit because of a rebellious teenager, Kotetsu, no matter how much he means to you."

"Watch me."

* * *

><p><strong>Luca POV<strong>

I looked up slowly at my own reflection; droplets of water fell down in the sink as the man I didn't recognize looked back from the mirror. He looked older. Tired. Beaten up; literally. His bottom lip was split and so was his eyebrow. He had a nasty bruise on his jaw, but no black eyes. Some would say it was a "bad boy" kinda look and I've heard some girls loved it. Not that I've even given a damn about that. Once I would have wondered if Hajime would like it or hate it. Now the thought of him only made me feel numb from the inside, like I was high on painkillers.

Painkillers I should probably take for all those literal body traumas. Fuck it. Pain distracted me from thinking too much. About anything.

I walked out of the café's toilet and sat back at the table by the window. The waitress came to refill my cup, smiling widely. Ah, probably a fan of the "bad boy" look then. Whatever.

I looked out of the window. I liked this town. I had met some… interesting people here. Interesting new hobbies. Pity my time was running out.

I looked back at my cell phone and my Mom's message. _"U had ur time. ANBU's coming for u."_

So. Going back on my own or waiting for the black op-s to drag me kicking and screaming?

I guess it was never really a question.

But first… one last time. One last fix.

**А.****N.** _Wherever I may roam_ is a song by Metallica.


End file.
